i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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