Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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