I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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