No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You pole danced in your parka.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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