that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.