2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious