he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I told you penises don't tan
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.