She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
