Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
