Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
