brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
