is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
