she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I could fuck to npr.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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