im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize