Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
