There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Randomize