then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
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and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
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Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.