I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?