I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that