He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
