He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
