he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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