STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
