he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
