another moral hangover. fuck.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
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As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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