Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
