Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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