I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
