Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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