How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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