it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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