I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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