What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
