There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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