I am full of burrito and curiosity
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
