No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize