So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
