She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
that is very illegal...i love you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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