How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
