He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
