Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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