And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
