ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize