I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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