I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
