all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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