Jerry, you need to find god
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
