i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
