Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
please come you make the beer taste better
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
