the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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