No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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