I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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