y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
