I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
