then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize