I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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