You really coming over, don't trick.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
