I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize