there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
