Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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